Re-Americaning | Back to Reality

Now that we’ve been away from Asia for a few months, the question we most often get is “how’s it feel to back”? The answer is always the same – it’s a mixed bag. On the one hand, there are plenty of things that we missed while abroad and are quite happy to have back in our lives – first and foremost being old friends and family. Soon after landing in the USA, we saw dozens of familiar faces that we’d known for decades – which reminded us of one of the main sacrifices that one makes when moving to the far side of the world. This becomes especially acute when you have young children that are growing up rapidly far away from their aging grandparents, and something we cannot ignore while daydreaming about returning to life overseas someday.

Getting back to the USA also meant getting back to routines and the more mundane aspects of life. Long overdue medical check-ups, shopping for a car, and re-activating all the boring stuff like insurances. Thankfully we timed our USA return to the States with things to look forward to as well – such as a total solar eclipse, costume parties, and celebrating 4th of July with amigos.

We also re-acquired an appreciation for some of the cultural nuances of Texas. Something about seeing cowboy-themed everything just seems right! Little day trips around the Texas Hill Country, which we’d previously taken for granted, were now new and exciting once again. A festive and historical brewery in Shiner, the clear limestone cascading pools at Pedernales Falls, watching storms roll in over Lake Travis from the Oasis, toobing with friends along the San Marcos River – all things we’d done plenty of times before but were happy to have as options again. The deafening sound of the summer cicadas, the rumble of freight trains over old bridges, and honky-tonk blaring from countless bars around the city all brought back a familiarity that we hadn’t realized was missing. It may seem odd to non-Texans, but waving at strangers and saying hello are woven into the fabric of society here – which can make other cultures often appear cold and unwelcoming.

And then there’s the artery-clogging culinary delights of the southern USA, which miraculously manage to bind together even the most politically and demographically diverse segments of the local populace. There are few better ways to catch up with old friends than over a table of steaming cajun seafood. Among our first stops back in America was a pilgrimage to gorge on BBQ at the Salt Lick, and a we probably ate our weight in tacos within a week of landing in Texas. Having one of HEB’s flour tortillas after a year away was almost a spiritual experience – and I use that word knowing the risk of sounding like the ubiquitous Bali influencers that we love to poke fun at. We also really missed cooking for ourselves too. Sure, local Balinese shops were obviously well-stocked on staples for making Asian curry and noodle dishes, but it was often far cheaper to just order out.

What did we definitely not miss? Quite a bit, actually. For one, driving etiquette in the USA was something that we hadn’t realized was so incredibly awful until we had a chance to take a break from it. I’m still not fully adjusted to the constant tailgating, aggressive passing, and getting cut off on the roads here. Driving in the on the left side of the road in the developing world (for nearly a year) resulted in not a single incident. Day 1 driving in the USA – rear-ended on US71 near the airport, postponing my long-awaited reunion with my Subaru for nearly a month while repairs were made. Somewhat embarrassingly, we also really missed Amazon’s same day delivery for just about anything too! And returning to the sweltering summer temps in Texas ironically made Bali’s sauna-like weather not seem so bad anymore. Poverty just seems omnipresent here as well despite it being the headquarters for many global tech firms (e.g. Tesla, Dell, Oracle), with every major intersection seemingly blanketed with panhandlers. No idea why it’s not as visible in Asia, but it’s hard to miss here for sure. Within 5 minutes of being back in Austin, I was re-acquainted with mentally-ill people arguing with brick walls- and picked up my walking pace to avoid any risky interaction. Lastly, it sure was nice to take a breather from the toxic political discourse that’s so prevalent in the USA these days. 2024 being an election year made that all the more depressing to return to!

Which kind of brings us to the main point – what did we get out of all this time abroad and what did we learn about ourselves? A ton! For one thing, it was eye-opening to realize that not working at all was somehow less desirable than when some freelance and pro bono opportunities arose while we were away – valuable insight for the eventual retirement phase of life. We were also constantly reminded of how great kids are at knocking down cultural barriers. We had numerous memorable experiences in areas with no language in common solely by the virtue of having a cute gregarious kiddo in tow – we even met 90% of our expat friend circle through the school that we put him in abroad! More so than anything though, having that time off from work with so many shared experiences made our family function so much better. We really got into sync with one another and learned how to give everyone what they needed to be at their best. Being able to clearly sense everyone’s current interests and needs made our travel time in Japan work almost seamlessly. And things that used to frustrate us as parents have now become running jokes for all (e.g. a dumb song we made up to the tune of “Rock Around the Clock” about putting on your shoes – a seemingly constant request we ask of our child). Andy actually cried the first day that I had to go back to work in the USA and couldn’t hang out!

It also may have been noticeable that I intentionally never used the word “home” in writing this. The word “home” for all of us has now taken on somewhat of a different meaning these days, in that it’s not so much a geographical term but rather a state of all being together. Whether in Bali, Tokyo, or Austin – we always seemed to feel at home just waking up to a morning hug and sharing a laugh. With that as our foundation, it makes it really fun to think about possibilities for the future. But for now, life is all about the new world of kindergarten and cub scouts that we just entered – and getting back to “normal” for a bit. While regional road trips to New Orleans and the beaches of Alabama might be the about as wild as our travels get these these days, I’m sure it won’t be long before we’ll be dusting our passports off again…

Sampai nanti, setiap orang!